Bonus Post: The Godfather

So, this weekend, feeling lazy (as I often do these days), I watched some movies I had never seen before. Three, to be exact: The Godfather Parts I, II, and III. First of all, if you've never seen them, you probably don't need me to tell you that they are good (the American Film Institute has already pounded that point into the ground), and they've become so much a part of our culture, that you already know the gist of things and can figure out whether they interest you. I really enjoyed the first one, which is what prompted me, after my long meandering yesterday, to watch the second one. The second is a sequel, but like most quality sequels, it adds a great deal to the story instead of rehashing bits and pieces from the first movie. It is, on its own merits, a very good movie, as well.

The third movie, however.....

I wish I could say that the third movie was laughably awful, as I do so enjoy that kind of wretchedness. But in all honesty, this was not quite that bad. I mean, it's a really bad movie--the kind of franchise-sullying movie that series fans will want to forget (see: Rocky V, Star Wars prequels, Indiana Jones 4), but it falls short of being hilarious, which makes it even less bearable. The story (replete with Catholic Church intrigue, the hallmark of any good movie) isn't very good, there is a lot of recycled footage and navel-gazing, the characters make something of a departure from themselves (esp. Michael Corleone), and the acting is, well, bad. Even Al Pacino, who is so good in the earlier movies, comes across as wooden. But all of these facts could be forgiven, making Godfather III tolerable, if not good, except for one little detail.

Sofia Coppola is ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUSLY TERRIBLE.

I don't think I've ever seen a worse actress in a major movie. Ever! The closest run for her money would be Ahney Her as Sue in Gran Torino, but even she seemed like she was trying. Coppola lays a total egg; she somehow manages to be completely vacant and inhuman, yet terribly annoying. The problems in her performance boggle the mind, really, because they are things like: 1) not speaking English with normal or expected cadence and tone, 2) failure to make appropriate facial expressions, 3) misunderstanding of basic human movement, 4) completely unbelievable displays of emotion, etc. I fast-forwarded through large chunks of this movie, largely because she was so bad (although, to reiterate, the rest of the movie isn't very good, either).

SPOILER:

I felt like a jerk, but I laughed when she died at the end. A lot. Not just because I was happy that this curse had been lifted from the movie, but because her character in death, just as in life, was completely unbelievable. The woman is shot through the CHEST, for god's sake! Absolutely ridiculous. Perhaps I am heartless for laughing at a death scene, but I would argue that anyone who didn't laugh at this is without any sense of justice.

THIS JUST IN: I just looked her up on IMDB, and it turns out Coppola was one of the queen's attendants in The Phantom Menace! This woman is a terror! Has any performer had so prominent a hand in ruining multiple great movie franchises? Thank god she decided to duck behind the camera for the rest of her career.

C