Don't They Have Locks at Dartmouth?!

This was a message sent to Caitlin this morning. I have left it untouched (aside from removing my greeting from the original email) so that you can get the full grasp of my seething anger. For background, my new roommate got here on Monday from Dartmouth, where he is a rising senior. But withou further ado:

Nope. No stories.

What? You want a story?

Let me think....

Hmmmm.....

Oh.

Oh, I know!

How about....

HOW MY IDIOT ROOMMATE LOCKED ME OUT OF THE FUCKING APARTMENT LAST NIGHT!

I went out to have dinner and a beer with Christine last night. I didn't invite my roommate, probably because I am a bad person, but mostly because I had had to deal with him all of Monday and Tuesday, and I sort of hoped he would do things like, you know, go to the grocery store and stop eating my food. But alas, that didn't happen. He seems like a good enough guy, but it's been a rough week. I worked through lunch twice, was one of the last to leave yesterday, et cetera. Whatever. So I just wanted a relaxing evening out with friends, and not feel like I had to babysit anyone.

So Christine and I went to a little "cafe" (more like beer tent), then went to dinner at a chinese restaurant across the street from my place. Being busy folks, we were both a bit taken aback when we realized it was the late hour of 10 pm (GASP!). So we parted ways. I went up to my apartment, and the door was locked, but I soon realized that the dead-bolt, which can only be locked and unlocked from inside, was on. So I rang the doorbell. Nothing. Rang again. Nothing. Pounded on the door. NOTHING. Called the apartment number. STILL NOTHING. I started calling the other guy from the consulate who lives in my building (the conservative guy). HE didn't answer the phone. I must have rung the doorbell for almost half an hour. So, left with little recourse, I called Christine, who talked to her host about it and said it was fine for me to sleep at their place. Thanks goodness, too, because I was pretty much out of other options. Christine's host mother and sister (Marina, whom I told you about) were both very understanding and nice. We talked for a while, then I went to bed. Fortunately, they live in what is known as a kommunalka, an old apartment that during the Soviet period would have been inhabited by several families. Apparently, they bought the place out after the fall and make most of their money renting space out, and they had a spare room. At first, the host mother seemed to think that we wanted to sleep together, but was trying to dance around the subject and be cool about it. It was pretty funny. We all went our separate ways at around midnight, and while it wasn't the most restful night's sleep I've ever had, it was better than wandering the streets. Also, my phone died while I was talking to the security officer to apprise her of the situation, so I had no alarm. Not to worry, as Elvira Borisovna (the host mother) was kind enough to wake me at 8. I then walked home (~15 min) looking haggard and dishevelled, and went up to my room. STILL DEADBOLTED. I start ringing like crazy. Finally, my roommate opens the door. "What, forgot your keys?" he asked.

"No, you locked the deadbolt. While I wasn't here."
"You don't have a key for that?"

"It's a fucking DEADBOLT. There's no key."

"Oh, I thought that's what the second key was for."

(We have three locks, one gold bolt lock, then the deadbolt, then the lock on the doorknob.)

"NO, that's for the KNOB. You CANNOT unlock the deadbolt!"

"Oh"

"You locked it last night before I came home."

"Oh, how did you get back in, then?"

"I DIDN'T!"

"OOOOOhhhhhhhhh...."

"Yeah. New rule. DO NOT lock that unless you know I'm here. We clear on that?"

"Yeah"

"I'm going to be late for work. Don't wait for me."

And thus ended my morning with him. I have yet to see him since, although he sent me an email saying he finished setting up the wireless router. I think he knows that I am trying not to be pissed. And I sympathize, because maybe he's still lagged, maybe he's just early-to-bed, early-to-rise. All the same, infuriating.

T H E E N D

In my ongoing effort to amuse you all and (hopefully) give you a glimpse into Russian culture, I would also like to share this video with you. It's from Ulitsa Sezam--Russian Sesame Street, and it amuses me for several reasons. I was a big Sesame Street fan as a little kid, so there's that, I've always retained a great deal of respect for the show, and I think its really interesting to see how it is adapted for foreign countries. The big blue thing is called Zeliboba, and he's basically Big Bird, although I think he's supposed to be some sort of tree spirit(?). Also, the little girl in the video looks so like an idealized image of a Russian child that it blows my mind. Finally, the song is ridiculously catchy, especially if you speak Russian. Thus, viewer discretion is advised:

Yeah, maybe I'll post something else about how nice the weather has been recently or something, but this is definitely the best I've got for now. Again, I promise, pictures will be taken soon!

C