Russia: Screwing Me Over Since 2004

Ugh. So tonight I went to see the Alye Parusa (Scarlet Sails) event, an annual festival in honor of...well, it's a tad unclear. The celebration comes from a sort of childish story written not that long ago by a Russian author named Alexander Green (from Grinevsky). The story is essentially about how women will believe anything, and that all it takes is a nice ride for a man to get laid:

-Girl (named Assol....I would say "insert dirty joke here", but that too would seem like poor verbal decision-making) prophesied to run away with a prince who comes to the village port with scarlet sails, takes it to heart despite ridicule from locals

-Boy comes to town, falls for Girl

-Boy finds out about Girl's idiotic fantasy

-Boy puts scarlet sails on his boat, Girl runs off with Boy

Now that we've got THAT out of the way, for some reason, this story became popular and the festival became associated with high school graduation. Thousands, perhaps even a million people go to this thing on the banks of the Neva River every year. And this year, after missing it my first two summers, I decided I would go. How foolish of me.

First, there are signs EVERYWHERE around town saying that it starts at 11 pm. Wanting to be fashionably late, I get downtown at around 11:15. I hear a concert coming from the Palace Square--the celebration must be underway. Then, as has happened all too many times in the last three weeks, the sky opened up. And it rained. And rained. And slowed down a little. And then rained some more. People started leaving the area in droves, and who could blame them? I, however, soaked and freezing thanks to my lack of a jacket in the rainy, windy ~50 degree weather, decided to stick it out. I wanted to see the Scarlet Sails, damnit! Also, there was supposed to be a hell of a fireworks display, and I didn't want to miss that.

So I waited around. I met a friend and we talked. It's now 12:30, and they've shot off a few fireworks, but they were pretty lame, and they ended after about 5 minutes. Whatever. Then there was the ship. It wasn't going anywhere (the bridges had not yet opened, and wouldn't for a while). I'd be damned if I was going to continue freezing my ass off to watch some boat float down a river, so my friend and I left. I grabbed a khychin (greasy bread thing) from a snack kiosk, and went home to get ready for bed. No bid deal.

As soon as I get into bed, KERPOW! Loud explosions begin. It didn't take long to realize that now that the bridges were up (~1:30 am), the real show had begun. The explosions continued to get louder, so I decided that all was not lost, so I looked out my windows, until I realized that I was on the wrong side of the building to see anything. Thus, I hastily put my shoes on and headed outside to see if there was any view from my street. Alas, not surprisingly considering the distance and geography, there was none. And so, I nearly froze to death on the river banks so that I could get home and then be kept awake by the sound of distant fireworks that I had wanted to see. Thanks a lot, guys. Starts at 11 my ass. It's a good thing this city is so beautiful, or I would have been REALLY pissed standing out there.

C

P.S. Thank you, little Russian lady, who told me not to freeze to death. I'm sure my mother would appreciate it.